While some people attract other like glue, others are totally ignored. But people are social creatures. Even if you consider yourself as a loner, you still need to communicate every day with a fairly large number of people. But sometimes people just don???t like each other, often without reason.
Nothing is worse than feeling ignored and left out. When people ignore you, it might be time to evaluate your behavior and your relationships.
If you notice that you find yourself alone a lot when you don???t want to be, or that people avoid you, then it might be time to evaluate your behaviors to see if it is all in your head, or the way you connect with people.
There are times when we go through an emotional rough patch in life and we see things that aren???t really there. Often, when we don???t feel good about who we are, we misread other people and place intention where there is none. When people ignore you, ask yourself why do they?
The problem is that the more you believe people intentionally ignore you, the more standoffish you might be. You also might push people away because you already feel rejected. The only way to change course is to take a good look at what is real and what you might be creating for your own reality.
There are ways we make people in our lives uncomfortable and drive them away. Often, we are completely clueless about how we come across or affect others in our lives.
Why do people tend to ignore others –
it’s a way to hurt other person without indulging in aggressive behavior.
one gets an excuse to avoid caring, respect or value of the other person.
Sensitive personalities are easily hurt and it’s the worst form of emotional abuse they are subjected to.. it instantly shows in their behavior.
The perpetrator can easily see the depression, restlessness, anger and low self-esteem it causes in the victim.
Why people avoid you :: some of the most common-Reason
You are too needy. It is uncomfortable to be around someone who always searches for approval or who can???t stand on their own two feet. If you constantly reach out and want more from the people around you, it can become exhausting.
You worry too much about being liked. Sometimes when people ignore you it is because you try way too hard to be liked. When someone is trying too hard to get people to like them they are uncomfortable to be around, specifically because they are uncomfortable in their own skin.
You are a Debby Downer. No one likes to be with a Negative Nelson. If all you ever talk about are negative things, then you probably bring the room down. Negativity is like a plague, it kills all the fun around it.
If you experience a rough time in life, then work on your own issues and stop throwing them up all over everyone else. If you ask why do people ignore me, think about how you see life, half-full or bottomed out? We all go through phases where things aren???t so great in our lives. But, no one wants to be brought down all the time.
You are too intense. It is okay to have an opinion and to be passionate about things. In fact, it is human nature. But, if you are too intense and domineering, then you aren???t much fun to be around. If ranting and raving is your ???thing,??? then people limit what they say to you or they get an ear full that they are tired of listening to.
It is okay to have a political view or believe in global warming. If people ignore you, then you might want to step off your soap box and just let it go. Save the intensity for the time and place that it is warranted, not every day, all day.
You don???t contribute much to the conversation. When people ignore you, it may be that you just don???t contribute much to the conversation or the friendship. No one likes to be the only one giving in a relationship. It is the give and take that makes bonding with someone worthwhile.
If you are way too passive and don???t have much to say or bring to the table, then it is more like having a vacant seat. If you notice people ignoring you, then speak up and tell them what is on your mind. You are allowed to have an opinion and a voice, so do so
You???re being too opinionated. We all know that person who has the answer to everything. They typically start with the phrase ???you know what you should do???? Often, people aren???t looking for you to solve their problems, they want to vent and talk through them with you to hear themselves think out loud and come to a conclusion on their own.
If you are too opinionated, it might have people ignoring you. No one wants to be told what to do, it makes them feel stupid and as if you don???t think they know how to conduct their own life.
Selfishness. If you always avoid paying bills, make sure that the other people around you will notice that and they will not like your behavior at all. Sometimes it will happen that ???you don???t have??? money, but is a completely different thing to be selfish.
You aren???t assertive enough. If you feel like you are always being ignored it might just be that you aren???t being assertive enough. You may think you tell people what you want, but you may not be communicating it correctly.
Often, when we feel ignored, it is because we say things and no one seems to be listening. It isn???t about talking more loudly but more poignantly. If you want people to hear you, then speak in a language they understand and ask for what you really want.
People don???t know you need them. Some people have an exterior that they show to the world that is very different from their interior feelings. You might be displaying to those around you that you don???t need anyone or their help.
Perhaps when you feel like people are ignoring you, they really just don???t know that you want or need them around. Take a good look at the messages you send, and see if they coincide with how you feel on the inside or in direct opposition to
It isn???t you, it is them. Sometimes when we get anxious that people ignore us we put the onus on ourselves like we have done something wrong. There are times when you try to get the attention of someone, and they just aren???t interested in having a relationship. Not everyone is going to like you.
You don???t listen to the others. Nothing is more annoying than a person who only talks about herself. And she is making no effort to hear what the other person tells her. Maybe it???s time to close your mouth and open your ears, to decrease the number of your ???haters???.
You criticize too much. Nobody likes people who only know how to criticize, and never gives the compliments to the others. Sometimes, some things should remain silent and you should allow people to enjoy the things that make them happy.
You are never guilty. Blaming it on others or inability to admit mistakes, is another characteristic that people cannot tolerate in others because it is simply impossible that you are never guilty.
You are a limpet. Everyone needs a little time for himself and your friends also. If you behave like a desperate limpet, it is likely that you will attract the wrong kind of attention, so let others take a little break from you.
Boasting. We all like to, at times, brag about our successes and achievements, but bragging without limits will leave a completely wrong impression. Also, if you set like you???re above others, you will gather more enemies than friends.
You are full of negativity. In other words, you are one of those people who are always in trouble, above them is always a dark cloud and they always see only the negative side in everything. Given that such sentiments can easily be transferred to the others, no wonder that people avoid you in a wide berth.
You don???t take anything for serious. You???re late for meetings and other appointments, canceling them at the last moment, you don???t stick to your promises and so on. Such actions are showing to the people that you don???t respect them, and no one doesn???t want close to them a person with whom they cannot count.
You are dishonest. When we talk about someone who is a great friend, we usually mean that the person is honest with us. Many people who behave badly are dishonest, liars and like to know everything. If you behave like that don???t wonder why people are ignoring you.
You are rude. If you are a person who is behaving badly, insulting others and shame them ??? stop that because that doesn???t make you a person with whom people like to spend their time. Of course, you will find yourself in a situation when you disagree with someone. Or you will see something you didn???t want to see, but there is no point to raise the noise.
Constantly questioning your value. You must be an unattractive person if you are constantly questioning why other people are not considering you as important as you think you are. Let???s say that your two friends went somewhere without you and you are angry. Calm down, they are still your friends and their lives will not stop when you are not there.
How to Dealing with it?
From my personal experience of counseling patients regarding how to deal with silent treatment, here are few tips
Initial reaction – the initial reaction of most people is frustration, anger, gossip, spreading bad words about the perpetrator.
This eventually leads the mind into a state of negativity, and creates an ego battle that cannot be resolved soon.
First step is too cool yourself.
Don’t try to read the mind of the perpetrator – don’t spend hours thinking why it is happening.
If you know the cause, then it’s great.
If you don’t know the cause, then keep quiet.
Don’t give the silent treatment back.
Lower your ego – in this ego game, people spend years not talking to each other. Its not worth it. It’s not about who won or who lost.
Be the first to extend you arm – ask why is the other person behaving in such a way with you.
tell them you care about them, and if they want some space of their own.. you will be more than happy to give to them.
tell them that all communication lines are open with you, and encourage them to talk to you.
if they still don’t want to talk to you – then accept that they are being childish.
try and let go as best as you can. Focus the least you can on him/her.
If you have a couple of people in your life who you feel ignore you, then cut them loose and focus on those people who make you feel fulfilled and cared for. All too often we waste energy on the things that we don???t have instead of relishing in the things we do.
Sometimes when people ignore you, you see it as something that you are doing wrong to deserve their ignorance. The thing is that you can???t control anyone else???s behavior but your own.
If someone ignores you and you are okay with who you are, then it is on them. Let go and move on for your own happiness.
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